Archive for the ‘Max Steingrout’ Category

Escape from Las Vegas

Saturday, February 8th, 2014

Vegas neon seared his dilated retinas.

Colors splashed his brain turning tourists into lizards.

The heat was hot on his trail.

He had been awake for 2 days fueled by acid, amphetamine, coffee, cigarettes, and an overactive imagination. He realized it was time to go south.

Associate, Dick Wheeler, warned him that the gravy days were over. If he didn’t leave on his own accord he would be leaving in a Clark County coroner’s body bag.

They had ways of making accidents happen to people. Max had seen it first hand.

There was James “Birdie” Wallace, Tony “The Ant” Spilotro, and even Frank “Lefty” Rosenthal’s El Dorado exploded as he turned the key to his ignition.

Lefty was lucky to be alive.

So was Max.

No one had to tell him twice.

Indictments were being handed down and entries made into the Vegas Black Book.

Attorney, and future Las Vegas mayor, Oscar Goodman said: “The only way to beat the Black Book is to drop dead before the hearing.”

Max, armed only with an ounce of Peruvian flake, liquid LSD, half pack of Luckies, and a quart of Wild Turkey, pointed his Ford Pinto southbound.

Cocaine eyes darted from rear view mirror to highway horizon back to rear view mirror.

Next stop: Tijuana.

Methadone

Friday, January 3rd, 2014

Upon his inglorious return to Las Vegas, Max the Junkie stared into the lumpy bowl of oatmeal and searched for meaning.

Unable to eat, methadone dulled his brain senseless.

Developed by the Third Reich, because war-torn Germany required a reliable internal source of opiates, Max found getting off methadone twice as hard as coming off heroin.

The monkey on his back mocked him as he climbed the walls and suffered vomiting, sweating, diarrhea, nausea, panic attacks, itching, stomach pains, constipation, headaches, skin rashes, urination problems, hallucinations and insomnia.

Helpless, hopeless and without any joy, his trademark exuberance was gone.

Vegas didn’t seem the same and Max didn’t feel the same.

The neon glow dulled. The cacophony of slot machines, black jack, craps, roulette wheels, pit bosses, dealers, winners, losers, waitresses, valets and call girls incongruously blended into a hum of white noise leaving Max feeling alone and left out.

He was depressed.

For money he resorted to pay phone coin returns. Meager earnings disappeared into penny and nickel one armed bandits.

Win or lose, it didn’t matter.

NFL Playoff Locks

Kansas City +1.5 @ Indianapolis                    W

Philadelphia -2.5 vs New Orleans                   L

Cincinnati -6.5 vs San Diego                           L

San Francisco -2.5 @ Green Bay                    W

TCh NFL Locks ™ vs Spread (121 – 127 – 7) (.488%)

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

Paint Chips

Tuesday, December 17th, 2013

Like a moth to a flame, Toddler Steingrout gravitated toward soda, candy, paint chips, magic markers and glue. Anything that changed the way he felt.

In 1976, 19-year-old Huckleberry Steingrout arrived in Vegas with a lack of self-control, an addictive personality, a lust for life & an affinity for inhalants.

Never proud & afflicted with undiagnosed ADD, Max spent the cocaine-fueled late 70′s & early ’80′s doing any sub-human job Vegas had to offer. A man’s got to eat, a junkie’s got to get high, and a bettor’s got to bet.

Binge drinking betting orgies resulted in syphilis of the bank and Max resorted to canvassing the Vegas strip handing out escort brochures to tourists. A little action on the side.

They say it’s darkest right before the dawn and in Max’s case it’s true.

In 1986 luminary, Jake “The Fizz” Fizzario (RIP) shot across the Las Vegas desert sky like a comet intersecting with, and brightening Max Steingrout’s life.

Together, they turned Las Vegas upside down with “The System,” culminating in Max Steingrout’s exodus south of the border.

The Fizz (RIP) was done. Max was done. “The System” was done and, in Mr. Steingrout’s opinion, Las Vegas was done.

The corporate takeover was complete. The last vestiges of Meyer Lansky’s crew were run out of town with Lefty Rosenthal & Co.

All these years later, is Max bitter?

No.

He’s just happy to be alive.

TCh World Famous NFL Power Rankings: Week 16

1. (2. 3.) Seattle Seahawks  (12 – 2) (10 – 4)  +ll+ -w+ w -+++++

2. (1. 1.) Denver Broncos (11 – 3) (9 – 5)  +l++ -w – l++wlw

3. (5. 21.) Kansas City Chiefs  (11 – 3) (8 – 6)  +w ll +l – – +w – – ++

4. (6. 2.) San Francisco 49ers (10 – 4) (8 – 4 – 2)  + – – ++p+l -pllw+

5. (3. 4.) New England Patriots  (10 – 4) (6 – 8 )  – – ll -+w++ – +ww –

6. (4. 8.) New Orleans Saints  (10 – 4) (8 – 4 – 1)  l- +++w+ – lp+wlw

7. (8. 19.) Carolina Panthers (10 – 4) (7 – 7) w- l – +lllllw+ – w

8. (7. 14.) Cincinnati Bengals (9 – 5) (9 – 5)  ++ l – ll++w-+l+ –

9. (9. 16.) Indianapolis Colts  (9 – 5) (8 – 6)  – – – + lwl+ -+w+w+

10. (11. 26.) Arizona Cardinals (9 – 5) (9 – 2 – 4)  +l w – lp wlpl+plp

11. (12. 9.) Chicago Bears (8 – 6) (5 – 7 – 1)  w- l – w -w++p -ll+

12. (14. 15.) Baltimore Ravens  (8 – 6) (7 – 6 – 1)  w+ l – ++ – -lp+ – – +

13. (16. 20.) Miami Dolphins (8 – 6)  (9 – 5)  +llww – w+ -+++l –

14. (10. 22.) Philadelphia Eagles (8 – 6) (7 – 6 – 1)  lw – w llw -+++p+ –

15. (17. 5.) Green Bay Packers  (7 – 6 – 1) (5 – 8 )  wl – lwll -www+ l

16. (13. 13.) Dallas Cowboys  (7 – 7) (8 – 6 ) l+ + – ll+l- -l – – –

17. (15. 17.) Detroit Lions  (7 – 7) (7 – 7)  + – l l -lw -w – +ww

18. (18. 25.) San Diego Chargers (7 – 7) (8 – 6)   l+ – – – + +wwwl – ++

19. (21. 12.) Pittsburgh Steelers  (6 – 8 )  (7 – 7)  –w– wllww+l+l – l

20. (22. 24.) St. Louis Rams  (6 – 8 ) (7 – 7)  wwww+l – + -ll – – +

21. (19. 28.) New York Jets  (6 – 8 ) (8 – 6)  +l+ – l- +wl-wwl+

22. (20. 10.) New York Giants  (5 – 9) (6 – 8 )  – – – – – l+l++ -+ww

23. (26. 29.) Buffalo Bills  (5 – 9) (7 – 7)  llwlwllwwwlw – l

24. (23. 30.) Tennessee Titans  (5 – 9 ) (7 – 5 – 2)  llllw+wlwplwwp

25. (29. 23.) Minnesota Vikings (4 – 9 – 1) (7 – 6)  wl – +ww -llwlll

26. (30. 6.) Atlanta Falcons  (4 – 10) (5 – 9)  -+ – – – + – – w – +++w

27. (24. 18.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4 – 10 ) (6 – 8 ) wl – – -w – llllwlw

28. (25. 27.) Cleveland Browns  (4 – 10 ) (5 – 9)  wwll – – llww – +w

29. (27. 31.) Oakland Raiders (4 – 10 ) (6 – 8 )  llwwl – +lll – l -w

30. (28. 32.) Jacksonville Jaguars  (4 – 10 ) (5 – 9)  w- – ww+w – + – lll –

31. (31. 11.) Washington Redskins (3 – 11) (4 – 10 )  – – – + – + – + -w -ww+

32. (32. 7.) Houston Texans (2 – 12) (2 – 12 – 1)   – – – ww – wwp – – + -w

TCh Power Rankings ™ utilize Lefty Rosenthal’s Plus/Minus system reflecting a combination of record and perception.

legend:

(previous week ranking. pre-season ranking) (record) (record vs. spread)

+ (plus): bet on & won

– (minus) : bet on & lost

w (w): bet against & won

l (l): bet against & lost

p (p): push

Steingrout

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013

In 1976, at the tender age of 19, Upstate New York refugee, huckleberry Max Steingrout, arrived at the Las Vegas Trailways bus terminal.

By 1987 he was a Las Vegas lifer. A hanger on, a degenerate, a chain smoker, a drunk, a drug addict and most important, to the establishment which allowed him to exist in the first place, a gambling addict.

He lost more than he won.

In spite of the smell, the sports books tolerated Max, as long as it wasn’t convention season & as long as he didn’t bother the girls.

In 1987, for the first time in his sordid gambling career, Max Steingrout started to win & win big.

Simultaneously, the Las Vegas Corporate Takeover had began.

Frank “Lefty” Rosenthal was the target of FBI & Las Vegas Gaming Commission investigations.

In a last ditch effort to avoid indictment, & potential entry into The Black Book, Lefty Rosenthal looked at long time associate, Dick Wheeler, pointed at Max and said: ”Make that fucking prick The Chickenhawk.”

TCh World Famous NFL Power Rankings: Week 14

1. (1. 3.) Seattle Seahawks  (11 – 1) (8 – 4)  +ll+ -w+ w -+++

2. (2. 1.) Denver Broncos (10 – 2) (8 – 4)  +l++ -w – l++wl

3. (5. 19.) Carolina Panthers (9 – 3) (7 – 5) w- l – +lllllw+

4. (6. 4.) New England Patriots  (9 – 3) (6 – 6)  – – ll -+w++ – +w

5. (3. 8.) New Orleans Saints  (9 – 3) (7 – 4 – 1)  l- +++w+ – lp+w

6. (4. 21.) Kansas City Chiefs  (9 – 3) (6 – 6)  +w ll +l – – +w – –

7. (7. 2.) San Francisco 49ers (8 – 4) (7 – 3 – 2)  + – – ++p+l -pll

8. (8. 14.) Cincinnati Bengals (8 – 4) (8 – 4)  ++ l – ll++w-+l

9. (10. 16.) Indianapolis Colts  (8 – 4) (7 – 5)  – – – + lwl+ -+w+

10. (12. 13.) Dallas Cowboys  (7 – 5) (8 – 4) l+ + – ll+l- -l –

11. (13. 17.) Detroit Lions  (7 – 5) (7 – 5)  + – l l -lw -w – +

12. (14. 22.) Philadelphia Eagles (7 – 5) (6 – 5 – 1)  lw – w llw -+++p

13. (9. 26.) Arizona Cardinals (7 – 5) (7 – 2 – 3)  +l w – lp wlpl+p

14. (11. 9.) Chicago Bears (6 – 6) (3 – 7 – 1)  w- l – w -w++p -l

15. (17. 15.) Baltimore Ravens  (6 – 6) (6 – 5 – 1)  w+ l – ++ – -lp+ –

16. (18. 20.) Miami Dolphins (6 – 6)  (7 – 5)  +llww – w+ -+++

17. (15. 5.) Green Bay Packers  (5 – 6) (4 – 7)  wl – lwll -www

18. (23. 10.) New York Giants  (5 – 7) (6 – 6)  – – – – – l+l++ -+

19. (16. 12.) Pittsburgh Steelers  (5 – 7)  (6 – 6)  –w– wllww+l+l

20. (19. 24.) St. Louis Rams  (5 – 7) (6 – 6)  wwww+l – + -ll –

21. (20. 25.) San Diego Chargers (5 – 7) (6 – 6)   l+ – – – + +wwwl –

22. (21. 28.) New York Jets  (5 – 7) (6 – 6)  +l+ – l- +wl-ww

23. (22. 30.) Tennessee Titans  (5 – 7) (7 – 4 – 1)  llllw+wlwplw

24. (24. 27.) Cleveland Browns  (4 – 8 ) (4 – 8 )  wwll – – llww –

25. (25. 29.) Buffalo Bills  (4 – 8 ) (6 – 6)  llwlwllwwwlw

26. (26. 31.) Oakland Raiders (4 – 8 ) (6 – 6)  llwwl – +lll – l

27. (29. 23.) Minnesota Vikings (3 – 8 ) (5 – 6)  wl – +ww -llwl

28. (30. 6.) Atlanta Falcons  (3 – 9 ) (4 – 8 )  -+ – – – + – – w – ++

29. (27. 11.) Washington Redskins (3 – 9) (3 – 9)  – – – + – + – + -w -w

30. (28. 18.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3 – 9) (5 – 7) wl – – -w – llllw

31. (32. 32.) Jacksonville Jaguars  (3 – 9) (4 – 8 )  w- – ww+w – + – ll

32. (31. 7.) Houston Texans (2 – 10) (2 – 9 – 1)   – – – ww – wwp – – +

TCh Power Rankings ™ utilize Lefty Rosenthal’s Plus/Minus system reflecting a combination of record and perception.

legend:

(previous week ranking. pre-season ranking) (record) (record vs. spread)

+ (plus): bet on & won

– (minus) : bet on & lost

w (w): bet against & won

l (l): bet against & lost

p (p): push

Shiraz

Thursday, October 24th, 2013

Las Vegas, NV – 1987

Max Steingrout walked out of the Las Vegas Valley Rehab Hospital and needed a hit. He knew he was in trouble.

Back in his apartment he was soon cooking freebase and frying his brain. “Clean living is over-rated,” he told his rotting toothed, stale cigarette smelling, then girlfriend/crack whore, soon to be wife (#1), Shiraz.

“Besides,” he continued, “momma didn’t raise a quitter.”

Shiraz smiled, not because of Max’s funny, more so in anticipation of her next hit.

Max was back & ready to gamble.

NFL Locks – Week 8

Tampa Bay +6 vs Carolina                               L

Jacksonville +16.5 vs San Francisco            L

Detroit -3 vs Dallas                                           L

Philadelphia -5.5 vs NY Giants                      L

Kansas City -7 vs Cleveland                             L

New Orleans -11.5 vs Buffalo                         W

New England -6.5 vs Miami                            W

Cincinnati -6.5 vs NY Jets                               W

Oakland +2.5 vs Pittsburgh                             W

Washington +13 @ Denver                              L

Atlanta +2.5 @ Arizona                                     L

Minnesota +9.5 vs Green Bay                        L

St. Louis +10.5 vs Seattle                                 W

TCh NFL Locks ™ vs Spread (47 – 59 – 1) (.443%)

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

Icarus

Thursday, September 19th, 2013

Man out of Time, Max Steingrout, like Icarus, flew too close to the sun.

The Nevada Gaming Commission believed him to be the mob-connected lynchpin responsible for manipulating the outcome of hundreds, if not thousands, of college and professional basketball games.

In reality, the mob rode Steingrout like a painted show pony.

Although too much drinking, smoking, drugging, and whoring had taken their toll, he could still read the writing on the wall.

He fled south of the border.

Upon his return to Las Vegas, Max the Junkie had lost his nerve, his mind, and his soul.

He became the mark for the tourists, junkies, pimps and prostitutes he once so proudly preyed upon.

Faces were the same but the names had changed, perhaps to protect the innocent.

Max knew there were no innocents.

For money, he wandered The Strip in a methadone fog forcing escort brochures into the hands of unsuspecting old ladies and wide-eyed children.

NFL Locks Week 3

Philadelphia -3 vs Kansas City              L

San Diego -3 @ Tennessee                     L

Minnesota -6.5 vs Cleveland                  L

Tampa Bay +7 @ New England               L

Houston +2.5 @ Baltimore                      L

Dallas -4 vs St. Louis                               W

New Orleans -7 vs Arizona                       W

Washington -2.5 vs Detroit                    L

Green Bay -2.5 @ Cincinnati                    L

NY Giants +1 @ Carolina                           L

Atlanta +2.5 @ Miami                               L

Indianapolis +10 @ San Francisco        W

Jacksonville +19.5 @ Seattle                  L

NY Jets -2.5 vs Buffalo                              W

Pittsburgh +2.5 vs Chicago                      L

Denver -15 vs Oakland                                 W

TCh NFL Locks ™ vs Spread (14 – 18) (.438%)

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

Destroyer

Thursday, August 1st, 2013

LAS VEGAS, NVJuly 1991

It was hot as hell and getting hotter. The Fizz substituted crack for psychedelics and “The System” started to fail. Max countered with a pesky heroin habit and, in an act of desperation, held The Fizz down and stuffed a sheet of acid into his fat mouth.

For twenty days and twenty nights, The Fizz was a walking, talking cosmic cataclysm. “I am The Destroyer. The Alpha and The Omega. The Harbinger of Death. The Days of Doom are upon us.”

Maybe they were, but at least “The System” started to work again.

Slaughter

Friday, July 26th, 2013

Jeremiah 19:6-9

So beware, for the time is coming, says the LORD, when this place will no longer be called Topheth or the valley of the son of Hinnom, but the Valley of Slaughter. For I will upset the battle plans of Judah and Jerusalem and let invading armies slaughter them. The enemy will leave the dead bodies as food for the vultures and wild animals. I will wipe Jerusalem from the face of the earth, making it a monument to their stupidity. All who pass by will be appalled and will gasp at the destruction they see there. I will see to it that your enemies lay siege to the city until all the food is gone. Then those trapped inside will have to eat their own sons and daughters and friends. They will be driven to utter despair.

1976 –  Happy Bicentennial Birthday

Power is a fickle bedfellow, inexact as a Molotov cocktail.

Jimmy smiled all the way to The White House.

Max smiled all the way to Las Vegas.

One a peanut farmer. The other a peanut allergy.

One reached the height of power. The other reached the height of depravity.

Both shared a distaste for Teddy.

One for his privileged background and Chappaquiddick sins, the other for his lack of courage to reveal the truth behind his brothers assassinations.

Pontius Pilate washed his hands.

Et tu, Teddy?

Hire Max

Sunday, July 21st, 2013

Max Steingrout has appeared at hundreds of business meetings, weddings, bar mitzvahs, birthday parties, bachelor & bachelorette parties, Russian bathhouses, & autograph signings.

For a fee, he will speak on a number of topics including: gambling, drugs, drinking, entry into The Black Book, his life on the run in Mexico, his triumphant return to Las Vegas, JFK conspiracy or the Mob.

Mr. Steingrout’s theories about The Rise & Fall of Las Vegas have broken new ground in the historical understanding of the city that Buzz Bissinger described as: “Most creative architecture in America.”

In addition to his lectures, he loves to party.

Mr. Steingrout is completing his autobiography about his degenerate life as a pusher, pimp, gambler, user, loser, winner, & Las Vegas Legend.

Max mentions he’d like to find a network job, preferrably on camera.

Jose Canseco admires his passion.

When asked how the Hire Max venture is going, he admits:  “Slow. Real slow. I think the link was broken. Either that or the economy,” bemused he continues, “or maybe it’s the sagging.”

Longtime Associate, one-time knee breaker, all-time ball breaker, Dick Wheeler adds: “Maybe your picks stink.”

Maybe, Dick. Maybe.

Planning a trip to Las Vegas or interested in hiring Max Steingrout to speak in your community?  Contact Max on twitter: @thechickenhawk1 or tch@thechickenhawk.com.

Truckin’

Monday, July 8th, 2013

1973, Utica, NY – Memorial Auditorium

High on acid, at his first Grateful Dead concert, Max felt like the lamb before the slaughter.

He hid under the basement stairwell of the Memorial Auditorium until he heard the safe, familiar, bouncy opening notes of Truckin’.

Only then did he join the land of the living.

He hasn’t dared look back since.

Memorial Auditorium, Utica, NY (3/22/73)
Promised Land
Sugaree
Mexicali Blues
They Love Each Other
Looks Like Rain
Deal
Beat it on Down the Line
Bird Song
Jack Straw
Box of Rain
You Ain't Woman Enough
The Race Is On
Row Jimmy
El Paso
China Cat Sunflower
I Know You Rider
Playing in the Band
Casey Jones
Big River
Wave That Flag
Me and My Uncle
Here Comes Sunshine
Truckin'
The Other One
Eyes of the World
China Doll
Sugar Magnolia
Encore: Saturday Night