Archive for the ‘Dick Wheeler’ Category

Holy Rolling Tough Guy

Sunday, June 9th, 2013

Longtime Associate, Dick Wheeler, is a dick of all trades. Early in his sordid career he made a living busting balls and breaking kneecaps. Those days are gone and Dick has hedged his bet and found God. Good for Dick, I suppose, but of little consequence to the gimps.

At 84, Dick has lost his fastball. Glaucoma clouds his vision and hardening arteries soften him like a grape. Still, he tries to be a Holy Rolling Tough Guy. He doesn’t place a bet without contacting me and, inspite of pee stained pants, blames me for his losses. It’s gotten so bad, I don’t tell him what I think anymore. Who needs it? Not to be deterred, Dick bought a computer. Lucky for us, he doesn’t know how to use it.