April 30, 1975 – Saigon fell, and so did 18 year old, Huckleberry Max Steingrout’s spirits.

His dream of conscription dashed.

JFK, MLK, & RFK were dead.

Nixon resigned.

Chevy Chase parodied a bumbling, stumbling Gerald Ford on Saturday nights.

Hormones and acne in full bloom, Max had few friends and fewer girlfriends.

Rumor of legalized prostitution convinced him to take a Trailways bus from Elmira, NY to Las Vegas, NV.

43 years later, it all seems like yesterday ….

The Chickenhawk’s Week 8 Locks of the Week ™ are:

Cincinnati -3.5 vs Tampa Bay                      L

Indianapolis -3 @ Oakland                      W

Minnesota PK vs New Orleans                    L

Buffalo +14 vs New England                       L 

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

At the age of 12, André Roussimoff was 6′ 3″ and weighed 240 pounds.

At age 17, he began wrestling professionally in Paris, France and was given the name “Le Géant Ferré.”

He moved to Montreal, Canada where his wrestling legend grew.

Vince McMahon, Sr. billed him as the large, immovable monster: “André the Giant.”

He made his American WWWF debute in 1973 defeating Buddy Wolfe in Madison Square Garden.

In 1976 he scored the under-card for a televised Muhammad Ali fight. The Giant stole the show throwing professional boxer Chuck Wepner over the top rope and outside the ring.

Throughout the decades, rivals included: Killer Khan, Big John Studd, Bobby The Brain Heenan, King Kong Bundy, Ken Patera, Bam Bam Bigelow, Macho Man Randy Savage, Jake The Snake Roberts, Mr. Perfect, and Hulk Hogan.

In addition to cementing wrestling (& Wrestlemania) into an American pastime, Andre honed his acting skills with roles in, most notably, The Princess Bride, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Greatest American Hero, BJ and the Bear, The Fall Guy, and Conan the Destroyer.

On January 27, 1993, at the age of 46, the beloved Giant died in his sleep of congestive heart failure.

Our Thursday Night NFL Lock of the Week ™-

Miami +7.5 @ Houston                                L

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

We have been working with a publisher for our new book, Breaking Vega$: The Max Steingrout Story – How to win online in a new internet era & why Las Vegas is crapping their pants.

We’ll be giving away signed first editions.

It begins like this:

Max Steingrout spent much of his rebellious youth stumbling around the back streets of Las Vegas addicted to inhalants, eating out of garbage cans and drinking out of toilets. One early morning Max found himself in the Las Vegas Valley Rehab Hospital after a naked, spray paint induced seizure in the fluorescent lobby of an all-night Taco Bell. In the bed next to him? Childhood friend and longtime speed freak, Jake “The Fizz” Fizzario.

The basics of the book:  Max’s rise from failure, to success, to failure, to success, to failure, to finally success, again, through internet technologies and a calmer life style.

We hope Breaking Vega$ proves to be a book for gamblers, dreamers, loners, losers, winners, high rollers, low rollers, low ballers, high ballers, has-beens, never-beens, meth heads, speed freaks, inhalant addicts and spray paint store clerks.

Until our next book signing: Stay tuned, tune in, tune out, stay in, stay out and, as always, keep your opinion to yourself.

This week we’re loving ourselves some home cooking!

The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks of the Week ™ are:

KC -6 vs Cincinnati                                W

Jacksonville -4.5 vs Houston                 L

Washington -1.5 vs Dallas                  W

Atlanta -4 vs NY Giants                     L

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks of the Week ™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

Let’s face it, we’re all looking for a system.

Systems to: lose weight, quit smoking, how to pick up girls and … how to make money.

By having a system, this crazy world, for a brief shining moment, makes sense.

Things work in harmony.

Without systems, there is only chaos.

Nothing makes sense.

Sports betting isn’t for everyone.

Considering the 10% vigorish, sports betting isn’t for anyone.

It’s for the house.

It’s never been for the bettor.

The deck is stacked. The bettor can’t win.

NFL betting systems are popular and part of the reason people pay “professional” handicappers handsome money for their picks.

Unsuccessful degenerate bettors become professional handicappers.

Otherwise they’d still be degenerate bettors … not handicappers.

Some, like Max Steingrout, moonlight as handicappers, but do not collect fees for our locks.

One popular, tried and true, sports betting system is the famous Pick the Better Team ™ (PTBT) betting system, popularized recently, right here on our #1 online sports & entertainment degenerate destination resort.

The problem with the Pick the Better Team ™ system can be, of course, the point spread.

Thankfully, tonight’s Thursday Night NFL Lock of the Week ™ can utilize the PTBT system without fear of the point spread because it’s a pick-em:

Our Thursday Night NFL Lock of the Week ™ is:

Denver pk @ Arizona                W

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks of the Week ™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

Like smoke caught in the vortex of a crack pipe, The Fizz ran through the sports book at the center of Caesars Palace. He ran as he always ran when cashing a big bet – hurriedly, unsmiling, head down, as if the other degenerates praise was a storm of rain to get out of. He didn’t tip his cap. Though we thumped, wept, and chanted “We want Fizz” for minutes after he left the casino, he did not come back. A 10 team parlay! The noise for some seconds passed beyond excitement into a kind of immense open anguish, a wailing, a cry to be saved. But immortality is nontransferable. The papers said that the other bettors, and even the pit bosses, begged him to come out for a picture or acknowledgement in some way, but he never had and did not now. Gods do not answer mortals.

– John Updike

In 1988 Jake “The Fizz” Fizzario, the bastard son of a loose gypsy woman, commandeered The $100,000 Caesers Palace Parlay Challenge, winning a 10-team parlay, and became the official: Las Vegas Parlay King.

He hit so many parlays that, in 1990, Clark County casinos stopped accepting anything more than 3 team parlays from Fizzario or any known associates.

For most everyone, the parlay is not a good bet.

Fizzario was not everyone.

He knew next to nothing about sports. He couldn’t name a single player on a single team. He handicapped games based on some sort of psychedelic, spiritual guidance.

Fizzario felt that the thing with the parlay is you either win or lose. It was a 50 – 50. Just like any other bet. You win or you lose.

The parlay is the most popular of the exotic bets offering the biggest bang for the buck. However, the odds of the payoff are much less than the true odds.

Parlay Odds:

2 teams 13-5
3 teams 6-1
4 teams 10-1
5 teams 25-1
6 teams 40-1
7 teams 75-1
8 teams 150-1
9 teams 300-1
10 teams 600-1

Rocketing out of the gate, we’ve stumbled to our 6 – 3 – 1 published record.

Boo-birds: we hear you.

In Loving Memory of Jake “The Parlay King” Fizzario (RIP) we offer …

Our Free, Fabulous, Five Team Parlay (FFFTP) ™:

Minnesota -10.5 vs Arizona                      w

Miami +3 vs Chicago                                   w

Indianapolis +3 @ NY Jets                           l

Cincinnati -2.5 vs Pittsburgh                         l

Seattle -2.5 @ Oakland                             w

5 team parlay: $200 wins $5,000

Winning money can be this easy.

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks of the Week ™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

The Bettor’s Edge.

For us, it’s never been about the winning or losing.

It’s always been about the action.

We hate to lose more than we like to win.

I received an e-mail the other day from a gentleman asking if I am a professional handicapper.

The response: No.

I am a has-been. A hack. A never would have been if not for The Fizz (RIP).

I just happened to fill a certain mostly cocaine-fueled void in a Las Vegas Era that is long gone and will never be seen again.

Last one to leave: turn out the lights.

Professional handicappers seem to be the guys that charge money for their picks. They want to sign you up for renewable packages, programs and seasons. I used to know these “professional” handicappers.

They are also the guys that don’t bet money on their own picks.

I am a bettor. A professional when I win. A degenerate when I lose.

Sports betting, sad to say, is my life. It’s a sickness.

A long time ago on WEEI’s Dale & Holley show Holley asked if I ever considered Gamblers Anonymous? Although I’m certain GA has their merits, not for me. I told him: “I’m in too deep.” He laughed but I wasn’t kidding.

The sports bettor needs to win approximately 52.38% of the time to keep his shirt.

Good luck America, we need it.

Tonight’s Monday Night Football The Chickenhawk’s Lock of the Week ™ is:

Washington +6 @ New Orleans              L

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks of the Week ™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

Tijuana, Mexico – 1992

After his inglorious expulsion from Las Vegas, Max Steingrout disappeared south of the border.

The US dollar was strong and, for a while, he lived like a king.

He immersed himself in the culture.

He drank, drugged, smoked, whored & gambled on cock fights.

He became one with the Mexican people. They became one with him.

He learned the language.

After the money was gone, during the day, he picked fruit with the small children and old women.

They called him El Perezoso which means: “The Fast Picker.”

At night he would pick the fruits of Tijuana’s daughters.

Later, the fathers, pimps or young Mexican suitors would pick fights with him.

Thursday Night’s NFL match up features New England 10.5 home favorites over Indianapolis. New England returned to their winning ways last week and this week includes the return of Edelman.

Indianapolis is worn down by both injuries and a brutal home field, over-time loss to the hapless Houston Texans leaving them 2-2 for the season.

There’s a million reasons to love New England this week.

For our NFL Lock of the Week ™ we’re taking:

Indianapolis +10.5 @ New England                  L

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s New NBA Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

“Welcome to Las Vegas, Pilgrim!”

Unlike in New York, in Las Vegas Max made friends quickly.

By 1977 he ran security for Birdie’s burgeoning escort service empire consisting of an old crack whore named Connie and a semi-retarded 17-year-old.

Security consisted of Max hiding behind the trailer with a baseball bat hoping the johns didn’t get out of line.

James “Birdie” Wallace was a peculiar bird, not a common bird. He was not a big bird, he was a skinny bird, sort of like a humming bird, flying all around.

Between 1979 and 1985 Birdie Wallace became the biggest importer and distributor of cocaine in Clark County, NV.

He helped Las Vegas become known as “Sin City.”

Everyone did it.