(Interview: Oct. 2010)

JFK nicknamed his sister-in-law, Joan Kennedy, ”The Dish” in 1960

“Most people don’t know it, but in 1960 that expression was quite a compliment … especially coming from Jack Kennedy.”

Who did he first say the nickname to, Ted?

“No, he said it to me! And then, later, to the Senator.”

I bet he was happy about that?

“Oh yes, quite proud.”

Joan Kennedy’s voice is strong. Her mind sharp & witty.

She tells us she is happy & healthy.

Did you have a favorite brother in law?

“If I did, I wouldn’t tell you. They were so different. There was something about Jack. Both were very nice to me. That’s the important thing, isn’t it?”

Yes.

For the 51st straight year Joan Kennedy will be at her former in-law’s Hyannisport home this Thanksgiving with her 3 children, 4 grand-children, and many Kennedy family members, including Ethel Kennedy.

She is scheduled to play Holiday music for charities around Boston.

She remembers JFK singing ”September Song” while accompanying him on piano, shortly after Thanksgiving in 1961, almost 49 years ago. Those were happy times for Joan Kennedy.

It seems there has been a tarnishing of Camelot, over the past couple of decades, with the stories that have come out about JFK.

“I don’t think it’s fair to do to the deceased. They can’t defend themselves.”

Times have changed, as well.

“I don’t know how people in public life do it now.”

Conspiracy?

“I believe the Warren Commission because Senator Kennedy believed the Warren Commission. He didn’t think it did anyone any good to believe otherwise. It wouldn’t be good for The Country. It wouldn’t be good for The Kennedys.”

Sometimes it’s easier to laugh than it is to cry.

Joan Kennedy agrees.

We suggest, investigating & solving JFK’s murder should not be the responsibility of brothers. There should be government agencies to do that sort of thing.

Joan Kennedy adds, “Although there may be something to some of the conspiracy stories, Senator Kennedy believed the Warren Commission.”

For the health of the Nation?

“Yes, that’s a good way to put it, for the health of the Nation.”

Joan Kennedy is a survivor. She’s an American icon and a National treasure.

She’s also still, “The Dish.”

As chief executive of the Stardust, Fremont, Hacienda and Marina, Lefty Rosenthal revolutionized sports betting by putting the book inside the casinos.

Previously sports books were sordid operations located off the strip. They catered to the lowest common denominators:  pimps, prostitutes, loan sharks and betting degenerates. They smelled like stale cigarettes, cheap aftershave, bourbon and piss.

The Stardust became the capitol of the sports betting world.

Lefty Rosenthal hosted his own television show with guests including: Frank Sinatra, Don Rickles, Robert Conrad,  O.J. Simpson, Muhammed Ali, Tommy Lasorda, Billy Martin, Jim Brown, Dick Butkus, Siegfried & Roy, Bob Hope, Sammy Davis Jr., Telly Savalas, Liberace, and Bobo the Chimp.

He introduced female black jack dealers, doubling the Stardust’s revenue in the first 12 months.

He setup the casino sports book with stadium seating and couches, like a living room.

“Take off your jacket,” he’d say, “stay awhile.”

He was the first to implement Power Rankings as part of the linemaking procees, saying: ”Without Power Rankings how would you know who everyone is going to pick?”

Lefty implemented his “Plus /Minus” ™ system enabling the book, in a glance, to notice trends, patterns, failures, successes and avoid future setups, fixes, or pitfalls.

Steve loved Eydie, Eydie loved Steve. America loved Steve & Eydie.

There was a time, it didn’t get any bigger than Steve & Eydie.

If you don’t remember them, think: Lady Gaga x2.

Steve Lawrence, born: Sidney Liebowitz, & Eydie Gorme, born: Edith Gormezano, brought together for the first time on Steve Allen’s The Tonight Show, & were married at the El Rancho Hotel in Las Vegas on December 29, 1957.

Eydie was a beautiful, singing, acting, dancing dynamo & Steve was the heart-throb with the velvet voice.

Separate & together they’ve shined as America’s stars for over half a century.

They’ve had # 1 albums, #1 song, numerous top 20′s, they’ve won Grammys & Emmies, headlined shows at the Sands, Dunes, Caesars, Stardust & Tropicana, they’ve hosted prime time television specials, a TV Variety show, & appeared on hundreds of television shows, they’ve  been parodied on Saturday Night Live, & they received a lifetime achievement award by the Songwriters Hall of Fame.

Steve & Eydie performed through 2009, Steve performed into 2010. They did not perform in 2011 and have no planned appearances in 2013. Numerous inquiries, & well wishes, from this incorrigible fan remain unanswered.

The First Annual Big Fish Fry ™ is off to a stark raving lunatic start. Our account balance stands at $43,000 and we’re not going to stop until our descent into hell is complete. We have unequivocally proven that with a dream and an internet connection you can turn nothing into something. 

Question: besides parlay betting, what is the best way to make money fast?

Answer: bet more money.

Stay tuned …

There’s been quite a bit of commotion regarding our new Dump of the Day ™ category. Some of the commotion has been positive, some pretty negative.  Specifically, The Wife ™ has been particulary disgusted and somewhat withdrawn.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“What’s wrong? Max, it’s disgusting –”

“Baby, don’t be embarrassed, it’s beautiful. Everybody does it.”

“Yes, but everybody is not putting it on the internet.”

She has a point, but maybe that’s what makes it so beautiful.

An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but  serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone.
An  hour later, the  man has finished the three beers and orders three more.   This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks  three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about  the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender  broaches the subject on behalf of the town.  “I don’t mean to pry, but  folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?”

“Tis  odd, isn’t it?” the man replies. “You see, I have two brothers, and one went  to America,  and the other to Australia.   We  promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we  drank as a way of keeping up the family bond.”

The  bartender and the whole town were pleased with this answer, and soon the Man  Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the  hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink.

Then,  one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them  with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening.   He  orders only two beers. The word  flies around town. Prayers are offered  for the soul of one of the brothers.
The  next day, the bartender says to the man, “Folks around here, me first of all,  want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You  know-the two beers and all.

The man ponders this for a moment, then  replies,”You’ ll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It’s  just that I, meself, have decided to give up drinking for  Lent

While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: ‘Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain..do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!’

His wife responds: ‘He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I Love you, too.’

The math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is as follows: 

After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million.  

Assuming he got sex every night during their 5 year relationship (which would NOT have happened!) it ended up costing him $26,849 per go.    

This is Heather

On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer’s call girl, Kristen, an absolute stunner with a body like no other, charges $4,000 an hour.  

For anything!   

                             This is Kristen

Had Paul McCartney ‘rented’ Kristen for 5 years, he would’ve paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years  (a saving of $41.7 million) . Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe,  

                   no begging,  

                   no coaxing,  

                   never a headache,  

                   ability to put BOTH legs around you,

                   no bitching or complaining.  

                   Best of all, she leaves when you ask, and comes back when you ask.  

                            All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees. 

Sometimes renting makes far more sense.