Beer cans, syringes, steroids, cotton balls, blood, puss and cell debris: The Roger Clemens Witch Trial continues.
Haters, left-wingers, baseball Puritans, and Keith Olbermanns will tell you Clemens is on trial for lying under oath to Congress.
He’s now on trial for using steroids.
In order to prosecute the former, the government must prove the latter.
Cornered like a strung-out, rabid raccoon, after being fingered as a steroid user in 2007’s Mitchell Report, Clemens had to make a stand.
Like the OJ trial or a Catholic marriage, you make a decision and then you stick with it no matter the evidence or how much you hate the fucking bitch.
With an ego the size of Texas, Clemens made his decision: deny, deny, deny.
Prosecution DNA expert, Alan Keel, testified that blood and puss on cotton balls matched the genetic profile of The Rocket Man.
Alan said, “I would expect this profile to be unique to only one person that has ever lived on the planet.”
Defense attorney, Rusty Hardin believes this means there’s a chance it might match a person from another planet.
Momma taught us: if it smells like bad chicken, it’s probably bad chicken.