Anatomy of Breaking News

Breaking news is hard business.

Hard if you’re a paid professional.

Harder still if your an unpaid unprofessional.

Harder than we imagined.

It’s a 24/7 news cycle and you’re only as good as your last breaking news story.

Working around the clock, checking and re-checking sources, on Sunday, June 17th The Chickenhawk was the first media outlet in the world to publish news of Roger Clemens’ acquittal.

Beating breaking news giants:  The New York Times, Huffington Post, and TMZ to the revelation.

Humble site statistics went through the roof.

Koby, Kory, Kacy,  and Kody typed “Save Roger” in their google toolbars.

Writers, journalists, editors, publishers, prosecutors, prognosticators, pornographers, fornicators, and men in suits wondered what they were missing.

As lunch time passed into late afternoon, and still no word from the jury, we wondered too.

Our journalistic integrity was at stake, not to mention the integrity of our unnamed source.

Ben Bradlee-types patted their internet porn, crystal meth addicted Ivy League journalism degree carrying reporters on their khaki wearing asses, assuring them and themselves they’re doing a great job.

On Monday, after nearly 10 hours of deliberation, legal analyst Dan LaRoche, when asked if there was any truth to our online story, said:  “I don’t thinks so, based on the amount of documents the jury has asked for, we don’t expect a verdict until at least Wednesday, maybe later.”

We’re not certain what the jurors worked on all day, but at 6:40 pm EST Clemens’ acquittal was official.

The internet can be a strange and scary place.

Pop-ups, viruses, uploads, downloads, usernames and passwords.

Snooki tweets she’s pregnant.

The Daily Beast posts Anderson is gay.

People reports Katie is no longer wearing Tom’s wedding ring.

The breathless world waits to inhale the next big breaking news story.

The Chickenhawk:  Breaking News So You Can Just Sit There.

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