Like smoke caught in the vortex of a crack pipe, The Fizz ran through the sports book at the center of Caesars Palace. He ran as he always ran when cashing a big bet – hurriedly, unsmiling, head down, as if the other degenerates praise was a storm of rain to get out of. He didn’t tip his cap. Though we thumped, wept, and chanted “We want Fizz” for minutes after he left the casino, he did not come back. A 10 team parlay! The noise for some seconds passed beyond excitement into a kind of immense open anguish, a wailing, a cry to be saved. But immortality is nontransferable. The papers said that the other bettors, and even the pit bosses, begged him to come out for a picture or acknowledgement in some way, but he never had and did not now. Gods do not answer mortals.

In 1989 Jake “The Fizz” Fizzario, the bastard son of a loose gypsy woman, commandeered The $100,000 Caesers Palace Parlay Challenge, winning a 10-team parlay, and became the official: Las Vegas Parlay King.

In 1990, Clark County casinos stopped accepting anything more than 3 team parlays from Fizzario or any known associates.

TCh NBA Locks ™ –
Brooklyn +7 @ Miami                                  W
San Antonio -7 @ Minnesota                                   L
Dallas -7 @ Utah                                       W
OKC -9 @ Sacramento                                   W
Houston -9 @ LA Lakers                                    W
Atlanta -7 vs Detroit                                     L
Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NBA Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

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