Gone are the days of the big advertising contracts, dot com money, country clubs, expense accounts, courtesy cars, champagne, cocaine, personal assistants, interns, and high class escort services. Only empty bottles of Svedka Vodka remain from the skeletal corporate takeover celebration, a project forever on hold. Revenues are meager, endorsements gone, sponsors withdrawn, inspections rejected, bills unpaid. We spend our lonely nights in the lounge hoping someone will slip us a rufie.

This weekend’s NFL Playoff Locks are about redemption.

Bet early, bet often.

You can thank us on Monday.

KC -3 vs New England                         L

LA Rams +3.5  @ New Orleans               W

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

We don’t get out much anymore.

Too much anxiety and stress on the lumbar, specifically #’s 3, 4 & 5.

The exception being when the dim-witted nephew visits Las Vegas and slips me a hit of ecstacy.

I say “slips,” ok, I buy it. A hit for me, him, his friends, and more for me.

The X seems to take the edge off the lower lumbar.

Quick season review reveals: 21 – 18 – 3 record.

Middling, at best. Chimpanzee-like, at worst.

Still, there’s time left in this NFL season to make winners out of all of us.

Looking back at this year’s published picks, we lost when we stopped thinking for ourselves.

We lost when we listened to others and stopped listening to ourselves.

Basically, we lost when we lost our backbone.

Well, This is Us, our NFL Playoff Locks of the Week:

Kansas City -5.5 vs Indianapolis                      W

LA Rams -7 vs Dallas                                     W

LA Chargers +4 @ New England                           L

New Orleans -8 vs Philadelphia                       L

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

If you did blow in Las Vegas in the early ’80s it probably came from someone who got it from someone who go it from Birdie Wallace.

He supplied coke to everyone who supplied coke to everyone in Las Vegas: dealers, valets, bartenders, taxi drivers, strippers, whores, hotel managers, stars and performers.

Steve & Edie, Phyllis Dyller, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Sammy Davis Jr., Brando, Eric Estrada, Goldie Hawn: either directly or indirectly, Max Steingrout sold cocaine to them all.

Birdie Wallace’s cocaine.

Peru was the world’s leading producer of cocaine. The Colombian traffickers turned it into a dirty, bloody business and the cartel cocaine wars turned violent. This spelled the end for ’60’s pacifists like Las Vegas’ Birdie Wallace.

He didn’t have the stomach for the rough stuff.

Birdie made too many people nervous and he started to make too much money.

Birdie was fine doing the hustle, rolling a junkie or slapping around an under-aged runaway hooker, but once he started to move mountains of coke and make the kind of money reserved for Wayne Newton, he no longer knew his place.

One day he flew away.

Allegedly with a bullet to the back of his head.

NFL Locks of the Week ™-

Minnesota -4.5 vs Detroit                         W

Kansas City -7.5 @ Cleveland                    W

Chicago -9.5 @ Buffalo                            W

LA Rams -1  @ New Orleans                      L

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.

As the human male ages his production of testosterone slows, accompanied by: hair loss, weight gain, and the diminished ability to make decisions.

Characterized by leadership roles, the loss of decision making skills can be devastating to the species leading to feelings of fear, failure, self-doubt & depression.

The loss of decision making skills can be especially ruinous to the aging, professional sports bettor.

Walk into Caesars’ Sportsbook and look into the eyes of the senior gambling degenerates. There’s nothing there. Vacant, empty stares. There’s no one home. No hope, no spirit. No God.

Sometimes the aging human male lashes out, making irresponsible, irrational decisions, or series of decisions, often referred to as: “the midlife crisis.”

Victims turn to drinking, drugs, gambling, prostitutes, Corvettes, & betting blogs …

Tonight’s NFL Lock of the Week ™:

San Francisco -2.5 vs Oakland                   W

Disclaimer: The Chickenhawk’s NFL Locks™ are not for entertainment purposes. They are for making you serious amounts of ca$h. Remember: the more you bet, the more you win.